I had a victorious workout last night. That’s right–victorious. I conquered that lunge track like NOBODY’S BUSINESS. Tony, the Bodypump instructor, mixed it up a little last night. Instead of doing Round 81 like normal, he chose the hardest tracks for each song from different rounds, so needless to say, I went home pretty spent.
Naturally he picked the lunge track from round 80–which is known for being extraordinarily difficult. It also happens to be the lunge track that made me cry, the lunge track I found impossible to do. As in–that became my bathroom break song, because I absolutely could not keep my balance, could not complete even one set of “singles” (8 lunges on the beat). Finally I recognized that unless I started doing SOME of them, I would not be able to do ANY of them. So I began to diligently force myself to do them, even if it was only a few at a time. And then thankfully we moved on to the next round.
But last night, I was surprised when I was able to do ALL OF THE LUNGES for that round. Yes, it was still tough. Yes, my legs were jelly and I had to set down the bar in between sets, but I picked it back up and did the WHOLE. EFFING. THING. Felt BEASTLY!
Another area I’ve always had problems with was my triceps. But thankfully Bodypump has several types of tricep tracks. While I couldn’t do tricep dips or push-ups, I CAN do the tricep bench press, so I focused on building my muscle that way. But last night’s track inevitably was the problem workout. But again I came out victorious! Because of my consistent discipline with the other workout, I was able to do the dips! The tricep push-ups still feel impossible, but I know that as long as I keep working on it, one day that’ll be something I overcame as well.
One last victory: at one point in the evening, I started looking at the weights other people had on their bars, thinking, “She’s so much skinnier than I am, how can she be pressing more than me?” Or “I’ve never seen them here before, why is her bar more loaded than mine?” But as soon as I realized what I was thinking, I stopped myself. I don’t want to be that person–I want to compete only with myself. I remembered that phrase “Comparison is the thief of joy”–it’s pinned on my pinterest fitness board–and I decided that I would be happy with the progress I’ve made, as opposed to comparing myself to all the skinny girls and boys behind me. Besides, who knows how sore they are this morning?
I know I’m doing it right, I know I’m working my hardest and long-term thinking is the only way I’m going to succeed in my quest for health and strength. And it felt so much better mentally to NOT be worrying about how my bar stacked up next to theirs, to be concerned with only myself. It feels so unclean and truly, like a dark cloud, when I’m so wrapped up in everyone around me. It disturbs my workout and keeps me from pushing myself harder and farther. It was incredibly liberating to just let it go–to have those negative thoughts but also to have that phrase to talk myself right out of a funk. That could have ruined the rest of my workout but instead it was merely a blip on the radar. I’m definitely feeling stronger–both physically and mentally. A triumphant Monday, to be sure.