It Just Needs More Time

I’ve been trying hard to not weigh myself all the time so that I don’t focus on weight so much as inches off, but last night I had to check. I really shouldn’t have. I’m the EXACT same weight I was two months ago, even with all the weight lifting and working out. And my measurements haven’t changed any either. It was pretty discouraging, but that’s why I’ve started tracking my calorie intake this week, to see if I’m eating more to compensate for burning more–I think I am.

I’ve been using Lose It! to track my calorie intake and output, which has been really great for keeping me aware of exactly what I’m putting into my body. Watching my caloric intake has proven a double-edged sword, however, as my appetite adjusts to fewer indulgences with the same demand. There’s the same old battle of appetite versus hunger. I know that the first few weeks are the toughest–once I’m able to tell myself NO to that chocolate/cookie/extra serving for a few weeks, after a while my mouth quits asking for those sweets.

There’s also an opposing mental issue: making sure I eat enough. Usually when I’m tracking my intake, I start feeling guilty about every little thing, which isn’t healthy or helping in the long run. Because I commute by bike as well as lift weights and dance my butt off in Zumba, it’s important that not only I eat the right things, but I’m eating enough of them. Restricting my calories to 1200 or less doesn’t help me build the muscle I need to help burn more calories. So it’s finding the balance between eating too little and too much.

That being said, last night I did not want to go to Zumba. Originally I had planned on going to Zumba AND Bodypump, my normal Thursday workout, but after making plans with jon I cut it down to just one class. But I was SO hungry–I didn’t have much for lunch–AND my house is in dire need of a thorough cleaning/pickup/vacuum/rearranging. I was trying to convince myself that it was JUST as important for my overall health to be able to come home to a stress-free environment, and I needed to go home to create that environment.

But then I had to ask myself–would i REALLY use that extra hour to clean my house? Probably not. There’s always the chance that when I come home from a workout I won’t feel like vacuuming/hanging up clothes/decluttering the back porch. But I also knew that that extra hour would be put to better use by shaking it with Diana. “get yo ass to zumba, killa, and quit making excuses” is what i said to myself.

While I was biking over there I thought, “you’ll probably be really glad you did this–you never regret working out”. And boy was I right. Because I walked in and saw my Zumba friend Rachael, whom I haven’t seen in A YEAR because we both ditched Zumba around the same time. It was just like old times, and it was soul-feeding to reconnect with her. I’d forgotten how much better I danced when she’s there–she really pushes me in that I see how awesome she’s doing, and I’m inspired to look just as hot as her. And bonus! After working out, my stomach wasn’t clamoring for apples/french fries/chicken tenders/spinach salad/ANY FOOD AT ALL that it was before.

Of course for the dinner I was so eager to eat I both undercooked AND burned the beans. It’s possible, I promise you, although HIGHLY discouraging so I don’t recommend it. And the rice was undercooked as well and overall it was so inedible I had tea and nutella bread while jonny ate pretzels with teriyaki sauce and leftover homemade ranch (I know! I offered to make pasta but he was content with pretzels).

There comes a point at the end of the day when you say, “I tried”, and accept that you can only do 80% of things right on any given day. Sorry, dinner, that you’re at the end of the day and got the shaft. So i spent my evening drinking my favorite tea with my favorite man, watching my favorite show (Bob’s Burgers!). Not a bad way to end it, after all.


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