Evolution of Pilates

Before Pilates:

Look how toned all these women are. I bet it’s because they do pilates. Therefore, once I do pilates, I too will look like that.
How hard can this be?
I cannot wait to be as toned as they are.
This circle thing is so cute.
Only 3-lb weights? I do much more than this in Bodypump.

During Pilates:

When did 3-lbs get so damned heavy?
There is no. freaking. way.
I hate Her.
Why did I think this was a good idea?
I give up.
Maybe being fat and unhealthy for the rest of my life wouldn’t be such a bad thing.
Maybe I should take my socks off.
Nope. Still hard.
How is this legal? I thought torture was banned.
No one has ever died from doing this.
How sure of that are you?
Oh God why do I do this to myself??
Maybe I cant do all of them but I can do at least one…tw–no…ok thats it
There is no finish line–there is no deadline to being able to do all of them.
This is your life–go at the pace best for you.
One day you can do all of them. Just not today.
Shit. That’s…I’m never going to be able to move that again.
I cannot do this. Oh god I cannot do this.
Is the clock broken?
She’s got to be kidding. She’s not. Oh god.
Seriously-is that even possible?
Ok, so better than last time.
We did not do that last time. How can She expect us–we did not do that last time!
She’s not lying.
One day this will be worth it.
I’m going to be so pissed if this doesn’t work.
She’s superhuman.
Why does everyone else look like this is so damned easy?
You people make me sick.
Groaning is necessary to making it feel better.
I can either breathe, or do this scissor kick, but not both. Pick one.
Who cares what She thinks? Let Her judge. She don’t know me!
Why do I keep coming back?
I’m never coming back.

After Pilates:

I cannot move this.
Just leave me here to die. Tell Jon to feed the cats.
Why are my LEGS sore?
I can’t bend over to put my shoes back on.
All my muscles are jelly.
My belly is so sexy now.
Is that…MUSCLE??
I am a slim and sexy Arabian princess/belly-dancer.
Never mind. No I’m not. Jiggle still there.
I am a taut and toned tigress. Watch out because I am a badass.
Why are my RIBS sore??
Stop making me laugh!
When will this ever start to show?
She’s like my own personal trainer! I love Her classes!
I wish I could go back tomorrow.

And then it starts all over again.


One comment

  1. Loved reading this. I am a devotee of the Tracy Anderson Method (and I love pilates). I liked reading your take on it.


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