Fearfully, Wonderfully.

Thank you for my body. Thank you for my body. Thank you for my body. 

The other night, after a physically demanding weekend with not enough sleep and too much activity, I laid submerged in a steamy hot epsom salt bath, all but my nose and mouth underwater. I stilled my movements, quieted my breathing, and listened to the strong and regular thump-thump of my heartbeat. It seemed the song of an old friend. I felt such affection for it in that moment, and soon a sweeping wonder at my whole entire being. How many things that could go wrong, and yet did not. How many chemical reactions and balances and conversions must happen every moment of every day to keep me upright, mobile, sentient, and sane. I marveled that my blood stays its course, that my muscles move when i ask them to, that I eat food and it nourishes me and rebuilds me, that the timing on all of this is so perfect–the craftsmanship of a grandfather clock multiplied by infinity. Gratitude overwhelmed me–I wanted to say, ‘Thank you that I am alive when others are not, that I am healthy when others are not, that I am free, that it all works and is held together, when others are not” but all I could get out were those words. My body is a wholly wonderful, marvelous, beautiful thing.

It made me really reevaluate a lot of the things I think & say about it, put into it, put on top of it, and do to it. Viewing my body as a marvelous machine, even briefly, really made me stop wanting to call it ugly, fat, depressing. I may have more round than I’d like. I may not be as slim, a bit more pooch-bellied than I’d like, but I am still capable of everything i need to do (ok, unless you ask me for pull-ups). I have a new tenderness towards my body–I have not treated it as well as it deserves at all times, and I’m pledging to cut down on the wear & tear. I feel renewed, full of zeal–ready to rededicate myself to clean living & a healthy outlook on life. I have a lot of goals, some of them quite lofty, but just because it seems daunting is no reason to stop before I start! I’d like to go into more detail, but rather than get super wordy today, I’ll save those for another day. But here are the basic parameters i want to renew in my life. They feel a bit like resolutions, but perhaps that is because I am so resolute this time:

1. A fully committed Primal/Paleo diet supplemented with homegrown or farmer-grown vegetables
2. Daily movement/exercise
3. Daily gratitude/love/meditation
4. Essential Oils incorporated into my bathing routines, homemade cleaning products, pet care, and aromatherapy
5. Learning about & incorporating herbalism into my daily routines and for preventative care
6. Abstaining from as many unnatural or unpronounceable chemicals as possible, even when it means getting rid of a lot of makeup.

In the end, it is the only body I am going to get–it’s this or nothing. We’re on a journey together, and if I hate my companion then what a miserable trip it will be.

 

Advertisements